to the bullies...

i have been going over this in my head for several days now. what do i want to say? or do i even want to say anything at all? {WARNING: long post. worth reading.}

i don't want this to be about me, but i have decided that i do need to say something. i am still pretty young, but there are other bloggers out there who are even younger than me. bloggers in high school or even middle school. these young girls are at such an impressionable and tender stage in their lives. as bloggers, like most of us, they are just trying to find their voice and share it. sometimes it is about validation {we ALL need to feel validated from time to time}, but other times it is just a way to make friends or speak your mind. regardless of the reason, it is important for these girls to have a safe place to do so.

so, where does cyber-bullying fit into all of this? the answer SHOULD be nowhere, but that just doesn't seem to be the case.

about a month ago a favorite blogger of mine posted about how she just didn't know how to keep blogging anymore. she was upset, disheartened, and more than anything she was HURT. she had been the victim of cyber-bullying in the form of internet forums and people had written rude things about her AND her family. calling them out by name. i couldn't believe the things they wrote. i read her blog everyday and she is such a NICE person. she feels like a friend. and it hurt me that they hurt her. she was strong and decided to keep blogging. she decided not to let them win.

recently i have found myself on the same internet forum. and honestly i understand where some of the comments are coming from. i am NOT perfect. i also know that i am an acquired taste and not for everyone. i am young and sarcastic and still learning. what i don't understand is why so many of the comments have to be so mean. and not just about me, because i spent a good amount of time reading through other threads and these commenters are just plain mean to plenty of other girls as well. the comments are filled with insults and vulgar language. they beat girls down to the ground and then have a good laugh about it. and you know what? it's wrong.

now i'm not about to stop blogging. i love blogging and i truly enjoy having this little space on the internet where i can share my thoughts and continue to improve my writing. but i do want these BULLIES to know that we read what they say. and that they might think what they're doing is harmless, but that it hurts people. and that there have been suicides brought on by cyber-bullying specifically. and that THEY could be the cause of someone ending their life.

in regards to those who are SPECIFICALLY interested in commenting on my blog, i ask a few simple things:

1. if you would like to comment about something i did or said which you feel to be wrong or hurtful or just plain unappreciated please do so in an email so i can respond directly. this is NOT a blog where i post every comment which is why i use comment moderation. if you would like to say something, say it to me and give me the chance to respond.

2. if you honestly think i'm so stupid and annoying and just want to insult me, please go elsewhere. i don't particularly care where you go, but i would like this blog to be a positive thing for me and my kind and wonderful readers. i promise you there are tons and tons of bloggers out there who would be a better match for you.

3. i do not intend to visit that forum anymore. so the comments may continue and you can get the validation that you need, but i plan to keep that darkness out. i don't need darkness in my life.

to my sweet readers, i just want to say thank you to you all. because you are the reason i will continue to write. your kind and thoughtful comments help motivate me to keep writing and keep seeking after the beautiful things in life. you contribute to my happiness and i am so grateful for that. if you are ever a victim of cyber-bullying in ANY form please feel free to email me. i would love for my experience to be a help to others. and just know that no amount of hurtful words can overcome the love that our heavenly father has for you.

love,
mrs. dtf

p.s. i didn't spell check or re-read this for errors. so sue me.

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